Waiting For Tobias

(via Mother Jones)

As a young woman called to marriage, I know sometimes it’s hard to stay patient. After all, our culture is always telling us things like “live for today,” and “if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” And I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes it’s easier to buy into those lies, and hope that — with some careful tuning and grooming, of course — Mr. Right Now can magically transform into Mr. Right.

Of course, that’s nonsense. Men may have been made of clay once, but they’re no more malleable than shale. Try too hard, and they shatter. Push gently, and you can draw pretty designs on the surface, but what’s underneath remains unchanged. Only God can change the hearts of men, and assuming that one can be like God is what got us all into trouble in the first place, yes?

The other temptation is to try and make every social opportunity into a matchmaking service. It makes sense. How else are we supposed to meet “the One”? My Catholic young adult group has recently gotten into a bit of a bind where a lot of the single members won’t show up for events because there are too many couples in the group. It’s understandable, I suppose. It’s frustrating watching happy people in love when you’re lonely. And how are you supposed to find love when everyone’s already courting?

But here’s the kicker: no other single people are going to show up if everyone thinks no other single people are going to show up. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Besides, there are so many benefits to being in peer groups that <gasp> might not lead to romance. The chief one is friendship. I know most of my best friends are paired off, but they are still my best friends, and we have a lot of fun together. To spurn the beautiful offering of true friendship because someone slipped a bit too much Envy in your coffee this morning is to lose out on one of the greatest gifts God has given humankind. And Envy’s capitalized for a reason. It’s a deadly sin, kids.

So how do we combat this Envy? Well, let’s look at what causes it.

Why are we envious? Because we are not in a romantic relationship, and we want to be in one.

Why aren’t we in a relationship? We haven’t met the right person yet, or the right person hasn’t realized we’re the right person yet, or we don’t have any place to meet the right person.

So if we can’t change the circumstances on our own, who can? God.

And there’s the root of the problem. Our Envy comes from a lack of Trust in God’s plan for our lives. He already knows exactly who He’s going to bring into our lives. He knows when and where. We don’t have to worry about it. We don’t have to feel like there’s no one left. God’s got it all under control, and we just need to chill.

One of my favorite books in the Bible is the Book of Tobit, mostly because it’s pretty much the perfect story. It’s got everything. But in particular, I love the character of Sara. I mean, no one has it rough in love like Sara does, and it certainly isn’t from the lack of suitors. I might have a history of bad relationships, but none of my paramours have ever suffered from a fatal case of demon-strangling.

Sara is pretty human about the whole thing. Naturally, by about the sixth or seventh, she realizes that this is getting to be a bad pattern. Maybe it’s not them, it’s her. So she finally runs out of hope, and. . . prays for death. Really, really just begs God to strike her down, so men won’t try to marry her any more. (That’s pretty dramatic, but to be fair, it took her a lot of death to get to that point. She was a strong-willed woman.)

But what happened? Did God strike her down?

No. He sent the archangel Raphael to handsome young Tobias and pretty much gift-wrapped the lad along with some complimentary demon repellent. Because he was the one God set aside for her, her true love — and even more importantly, because they both had Faith in God’s plan — they lived happily ever after, demon-free.

So even in the heart of despair, when everything is hopeless, remember that God has not abandoned you. He knows the desires of your heart. And maybe you’re lonely right now because He’s trying to save you from some bad heartbreak.

Have faith. And don’t be afraid to socialize with couples. They don’t bite (as a rule).

Our time will come, single ladies.

-E. G. Norton

Lent, Week Two: The Art Of Belief

Your light may be small now, but it will grow. (Via emerging)

Last week, we talked a bit about sacramentals and other outward signs of our Catholicism. This week, let’s take some time to think about the inward signs.

I fear the greatest problem within the Church right now is the withering of Faith. Even in communities where the outward signs are present, many people still seem to be clinging to those things for the wrong reason: tradition.

Now don’t get me wrong, tradition is important. There is a reason why we’ve held on to prayers and practices from the earliest days of the Church, why those things which have stood the test of time are ever so valuable to us. But we do not practice our traditions for the sake of being traditions (at least we shouldn’t).

We practice our traditions because everything they stand for is true.

Think on that for a second. Really think on it. Everything those traditions stand for is true. It’s all real. every last bit of it. It must be. If it is not, our religion makes no sense. Beyond that, the universe makes no sense. Without God being all-Just, all-Powerful, and all-Loving, the world would be unhinged.

Nietzsche put it quite eloquently when he wrote “The Parable of the Madman” (arguably his most misquoted work):

“Whither is God?” he cried; “I will tell you. We have killed him—you and I. All of us are his murderers. But how did we do this? How could we drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the entire horizon? 

What were we doing when we unchained this earth from its sun? Whither is it moving now? Whither are we moving? Away from all suns? Are we not plunging continually? Backward, sideward, forward, in all directions? Is there still any up or down? Are we not straying, as through an infinite nothing? Do we not feel the breath of empty space? Has it not become colder? Is not night continually closing in on us? Do we not need to light lanterns in the morning?

[…] God is dead. God remains dead.

And we have killed him.

(The Gay Science, Paragraph 125)

This is what happens to the universe when we deny that everything we believe is real, when we decide that it’s all just superstition and bedtime stories. We “kill” God, in a sense, because we deny him so vehemently that we plunge our own souls into chaos. When we allow our Faith to erode, when we let our convenient sins rule our hearts, when we ignore the good counsel of our forefathers, and when we occlude our own consciences by shrouding them like caged songbirds and forcing them into eternal night — when we do this, we commit the ultimate betrayal. And we tear apart ourselves and all who relied on us to be a light on the road.

So how do we combat this? How do we let the light of God’s glory shine within us?

The answer is simple: let yourself believe. I mean, really believe. It’s hard at first, to see beyond what you can sense with your temporal senses, to learn to see with your soul. . . but you are capable.

Let go of those things which hold you back. Give up your sins that seem so dear to you now. Accept that God loves you anyway, and start loving him in return. The temptation to stray will lessen with practice.

Be vulnerable. Let yourself really fall in love, confident in the knowledge that the One you are giving your heart to is the only being in the cosmos who will never break it, though He might ask all from you. Let Him ask all from you. He’s your Creator. He knows what He’s doing.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, for guidance, for everything you lack. The good will be rendered to you a thousandfold. The bad is transient. God has given you powerful allies who love you dearly. Lean on them when the Destined Path becomes hard to bear, when you falter, when you despair. As God is real, so, too, are His angels. So, too, are those who have gone before you into the great eternity, the end of the path.

Remember that evil is also real. The enemy is always at the gates, and will use every tactic they can against you. Fight back with prayer. Suffer their attacks with joy, knowing that the more they assail you, the closer you are to your goal. The devil does not trifle with those he already owns.

And remember that you are on the winning side, so long as you choose to fight for it. You cannot stay neutral in this war. To be “neutral” is to already have turned your back on the light, to be dark without yet realizing it.

Do these things, and Faith will grow in you so substantially that you will have forgotten what it was ever like to live without it.

It is an honor to fight by your side.

-E.G. Norton